I came across another gem from the Dumb Little Man, this time thanks to Jay White (the founder) republishing an older post entitled “Things to Consider Before Getting Married“.
Like White, our own marriage has also been a successful one, while we continue to observe varying degrees of success (and failure) in the marriages of the friends and family that surrounds us. Since the essay encapsulates very very sensible advice on what to talk before tying the knot, I only thought it appropriate to share its essence with the readers of this blog…
(I’ve added brief descriptions of my own to make the points more meaningful.)
So before you say “I Do”, make sure you have at least considered these:
- Ability to Compromise – On minor and major issues
- Money – Who will handle what? What’s the plan?
- Cleaning the Toilet – No one has to do all the dirty work by themselves
- The Plan – Do you have a 1/3/6/9 year plan?
- Holidays – How and where will you celebrate holidays?
- Discipline – What’s your discipline approach for kids?
- Religion – How important is it? What/How will we teach the kids?
- Communication – How will we deal with a problem when it happens?
There are clearly a lot of other things to consider. Bad choices are going to made regardless of how thorough you plan; that’s life. You wouldn’t go on a 1,500 mile road trip without putting some thought into it and your marriage should be thought of in the same way. By planning and talking, the aim is to minimize the possible obstacles by first identifying them and getting them out in the open before they reach a critical, war-type, level.
Read the entire essay. I assure you, though, it will be time worth spending if it saves years of your life stuck in a marriage that does not work.