Taken For Granted
We take so much for granted in Life. Good health, sound mind, able senses… the list is endless.
A close friend’s wife delivered a baby boy nearly a month ago. He was born 2 months premature and weighed just over 1 kg! The boy has spent the last entire month in the neonatal ICU of a hospital. For days at end, his own parents could not even hold him in their arms. Even his food intake was through a drip, until very recently. Of course, every one says : “The boy will grow up to be a brave spirit.”
As much as I try, I cannot even begin to imagine what that must feel like for the parents. My own 5-month old daughter – Pumpkin – developed a cold and a cough this weekend. And we were both worried sick. To tell you the truth, it wasn’t a bad bout at all. But, as a parent, you feel so helpless watching a 5-month old react to the congestion in her throat, not knowing what to do. She doesn’t even know what a cough is (this is her first time!).
It’s the same when she goes for her vaccinations. Any parent will tell you that babies don’t enjoy getting a big fat prick in their arms every 6 weeks or so. My daughter is no different. Any other day, she is beaming with a smile at the drop of a hat ! But the day of her vaccines (and the day after that), she is just not her self. She just sits there, looking glum, not reacting at all to the usual distractions and entertainment. And that feels awful.
These experiences are all new for me. I know people always say that there are some things you can’t experience until you become a parent. Now, I am beginning to understand why. Children are so vulnerable. And so dependent on their parents for the smallest of things. And there’s only so much that we, as adults, can effect. Ask a parent and you’ll know what I mean.
As for my friend, things are beginning to settle down, and chances are his boy will be sent home soon. Thank God.
Concerning your article ?Taken For Granted? Posted on Sunday, July 11, 2004 by Naveen Bachwani in Parenthood I Post a Comment Today my daughter is 17 years old and is just fine. However that was not always the case. We have to go back to her birth to understand what I am talking about, and what you are experiencing with your friend.My daughter was born 26 weeks gestational. That would be about 3 months premature. Her birth weight was 2lbs 3oz. In the course of a few days she would lose half her body weight. Just the simple act of living was burning so much energy that the Doctors were not sure she would even live past her third day. They were not encouraging.Here is just a simple list of all the trials and tribulations of a premature baby. 1> Just breathing will burn more calories than a premi can take in even when force fed through a tube. 2> A fetus learns to keep their heart and respiratory system going in like the 38th week gestational.3> A premi has to wait a certain amount of time, if they live, before they can start reticking. The process of reproducing their on blood. They are special, and yes they are brave souls but the real brave souls are their parents who have to endure the torture of not being able to bond with that baby during those first few months, have to endure the pain they watch their child go through. Transfusions, breathing tubes, feeding tubes and than the movement of all those tubes as those tiny veins give out. Oh the possibilities, a shunt or worse. Than comes the day that child is held for the first time and all of a sudden nothing in the world can separate you from that child, you are attached at the heart. To weak to smile, to weak to express anything. To busy trying to live and fighting death at every second, somehow they manage to look into your eyes and at that very moment you know that the connection to that child and to the universe is undeniable. There is a God.Than through some miracle the time finally arrives when that child comes home, but the attention they need to get them to their first year as they develop slower then normal. In my case my daughter was stuck under 50lbs for 3 years. From 5-7 years of age.So don?t pity the child and don?t feel sorry for the parents they are the hero?s who will forever have a special bond unlike anything a normal parent with normal birth children will ever experience.You guessed it the parents will never take anything for granted ever again.As for the child they won?t remember that time and eventually grow to be normal kids, but the parents are forever changed.The medical side of her birth was so much a miracle that for the rest of my life I will never take anything for granted.
Naveen, There is so much to look forward to in parenthood and each phase is unique in its own way. Not many moons ago, my son started his “why” phase. Nikhil and I went mad trying to break down the universe as a response to his innocent queries. Then we got a perspective from a friend who has a 21 year old son. To quote him “Enjoy the ‘why’days, the ‘why nots’ are not going to be so pleasant”. love to khushi and your friend’s babydeepa