It Takes A Village
Two months ago, a new born baby came into my life. Until then, I had heard many more experienced folks tell me that my life will change the day I have a baby. I am slowly beginning to realize why.
The last couple of months have been quite a roller-coaster for me and the mrs. As all new parents, we were thrust into the care of the little one from the first day. As someone wisely said, "Having a baby does not make you a parent, any more than owning a piano makes you a pianist." There is so much to caring for an infant that it simply takes over your life, leaving you with little time for the rest of life’s pursuits.
One obvious impact of this has, of course, been on the blog – posts in the last 2 months have been at all-time low of just 3 entries each month! (I have resolved to fix that soon.) But, more significantly, the learning for me has been about how much we, as human beings, are dependent on predictability and on a routine in life.
As someone who thrives on change, it was quite a revelation for me to come to terms with this new finding. I had never thought of myself as not being comfortable in a situation that does not offer predictability. And baby care is any thing but predictable.
From the time she set foot in our lives, the world revolves around her. We sleep when she sleeps. We eat when she lets us. We watch movies only at home… often in instalments. There is no day or night any more. Sometimes she sleeps for 4 hours at a stretch, and sometimes you cannot think of putting her down, even for a moment.
Don’t get me wrong: It’s not all bad. In fact, one toothless smile from her, and every thing in life seems just right ! Seriously, words cannot describe how … nice it feels to see your child grinning away to glory. Never mind that you don’t know what made her smile in the first place!
But the bottomline is that you cannot do much to make it go this way or that way… you can only make the most of the moment. And we are not used to doing that.
It takes a village to raise a child. It really does.
having been with your child for over two months now i must ask whether the books and manuals that you as a prospective parent must have read then actually prepare you for the effort that lies ahead.share with us how that literature on parenting helps…Do you think that you deserve to be charged a lower premium by your motor insurance company? Only you can tell whether you consciously practise defensive driving knowing that you have a loved one waiting for you at home.
* Editor’s Reply *The books help in knowing what to expect, especially because there are hundreds of new experiences involved. They do impart a certain amount of comfort and confidence for first-time parents wondering if their one-week-old should be hicupping or not ! But, at the end of the day, a book on this subject can only do so much. The real learnings come from real life.As far as insurance goes, I never really thought of it that way. Sure, my propensity to take on risks has only decreased after the birth of my child. But I have only had to sign up for more (life) insurance to ensure that the interests of two people are now met if I am not around to provide for them… Wish insurance companies charged a lower premium for such policies !
I learnt from a baby:To have a baby snug in the arms, snug and warm is one of the coziest things one can experience. She doesnt know me, yet so comfortable is she. I learn trust.Put lips to her tummy and blow. Hear her gurggle. I learn small things are worth a squeal and gurggles.Watch her straight go for your nose, so curious is she. I learn, to know more one needs to be curiousIn bed she is engrossed with the toy that you thought was worth a 15 min work. You could never have dreamt of the things she imagine with the small bundle of joyI learn the cost is not a factor to happiness. The thought isShe smiles even to strangers, unknown and unaquanited. I learn benevolenceShe’s tired to tap taping her little feet, she throws her arms up. Pick me up she gestures. I learn seeking support is necessary. She finds a new discovery. Holds my finger and drags my attention to it.I learn sharing discoveries. Serendipity, Learning through accidents are a fact.I learnt not through textbooks. But the little one by my side. A masters degree.