I chanced upon a wonderful post on Sakshi Nanda’s ‘Between Write and Wrong’ blog, entitled “Sometimes, we forget to tell our children…“. In it, Nanda details a number of elements that I regard as having tremendous significance for us as parents.

We forget to tell our children … That our dreams about you do not dictate your future, but your dreams of the future are ours to dream. You go ahead and become what you want, and we’ll watch your back – ready with our ears, our hands and shoulders, whichever you may require. You figure life out, leave home, choose, do, lead – for today belongs to you. Not to our age-old myths, time-weathered ideas or unfounded fears.

I couldn’t agree more. I personally know of countless folks who spent the better part of their youth chasing the dreams of their parents, or even their grandparents! As parents, we have a duty to equip our children with roots and wings. But we often confuse the two, imposing our antiquated beliefs and desires onto them – leaving them with a moral obligation to carry these through.

And, it’s not just career and ambition that Nanda writes about. There’s more.

We forget to tell our children … That we will never remind you of all that we did for you – like favours, or debts or burdens forever for your shoulders. We did what we could and best. Just as you will too one day, for your child. If we were to make a list, then perhaps we did not understand the meaning of what it is to be a mother to a child or a father to a child. Not everything is quantifiable. If it is, then perhaps it’s an expectancy from tomorrow. Let there be nothing expected by us from your side, except respect and love. And let us as parents understand how best to earn those two from you too.

Another truth that hits home. Millions of parents spend their lives sacrificing almost everything to help their children get more from Life, and then spend their remaining years expecting the favor to be returned. That’s just not fair. Every human being should be able to decide how best to live their life – on their own terms. Parents should be able to expect respect and love from their children, and nothing more.

Don’t forget to read Nanda’s post in its entirety. There’s something in it for every parent.