The New York Magazine featured an interesting story, this February, on a handful of intrepid scholars attempting to understand why kids lie. The essay questioned many of our popularly-held beliefs, offering rich insights into the behaviour of kids, and into the motivations behind their “white lies”:

Although we think of truthfulness as a young child’s paramount virtue, it turns out that lying is the more advanced skill… lying demands both advanced cognitive development and social skills that honesty simply doesn’t require. “It’s a developmental milestone.”

One common belief is that stories with a moral, especially ones with a disincentive at the end, work wonders in teaching children the lessons of how to behave. However, the research showed that positive motivation worked far better than negative motivation, in driving desirable behaviour:

… One story read aloud is The Boy Who Cried Wolf—the version in which both the boy and the sheep get eaten because of his repeated lies. Alternatively, they read George Washington and the Cherry Tree, in which young George confesses to his father that he chopped down the prized tree with his new hatchet. The story ends with his father’s reply: “George, I’m glad that you cut down the tree after all. Hearing you tell the truth instead of a lie is better than if I had a thousand cherry trees.”

Now, which story do you think reduced lying more? When we surveyed 1,300 people, 75 percent thought The Boy Who Cried Wolf would work better. However, this famous fable actually did not cut down lying at all… In fact, after hearing the story, kids lied even a little more than normal. Meanwhile, hearing George Washington and the Cherry Tree reduced lying a sizable 43 percent in kids…

Is there any thing we can do as parents to influence the outcome? Fortunately, the answer is yes!  If you have a child of any age, don’t delay reading this story.