Growing Up…

I’m one of those parents who believes that children should grow up and be whoever they want to be, irrespective of how their parents feel about what they are capable of.   I also find it fascinating to observe how a child’s mind develops with age and how his/her aspirations change with time.  That is why, every few months or so, I casually ask Khushi if she has decided what she’d like to be when she grows up. 

In the past, her answers have included painter, artist and a ballerina.  But, this time, I was taken by surprise!

Papa: Khushi, what would you like to be when you grow up?

Khushi: I want to be a “birthday person” !

Papa: What’s a “birthday person” ?!

Khushi: It’s someone who has a birthday every day, and gets lots of presents and balloons and candy floss… every day!

Khushi: Can you imagine that?!

In 2 days, Khushi will be 6 years old.

Boys will be boys, so the saying goes.

Even though he’s very well-mannered and generous, Kabir has always behaved in a manner that is distinctly different from Khushi’s, and more or less typical of “boys”.  There’s a lot more energy and excitement with the simplest of activities.  There’s a lot more need to keep him busy and entertained.  Even when he plays with “Khushi didi’s” toys, he plays with them differently. 

It’s not just the fact that having two kids is ten times more work than having one child!  It’s also the fact that our second one is a boy!  So, it was only a matter of time before his boundless energy was going to be the cause of an injury.  And, that day came last week.

I was at home playing with Kabir, while Sonali and Khushi were out on some errands.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, he decided to jump off the edge off our bed… 

His face hit the edge of the dressing table near his lip and left a big gash.

The next half hour or so went by in a flash.  He burst into tears. I rushed him to the washroom and put some ice on his wound.  Till the bleeding stopped, I couldn’t really tell if it was just the outside of his face or he’d even lost some teeth.  After a few minutes, it became clear that it was his lip. 

The gash was about half an inch, and deep.  It was bleeding for a good 20 minutes or so.  I keep on putting ice and tried to keep him distracted with a new toy, but I knew that the wound would hurt, and so would the ice.  I’m not very good at the sight of blood, but there was no one else around. 

Eventually, the bleeding stopped.  Sonali and Khushi returned home.  We assessed the wound and decided that it would need not stitches.  Some ultra-fast, ultra-effective homeopathic doses later, the open wound began to close up.

We both heaved a small sigh of relief, knowing fully well that this was just the first of many more exciting episodes in the years to come…

Navigation

Khushi loves to be a navigator when we’re in the car, and often provides us with directions based on what she sees the indicator lights do!  As always, I try to encourage her efforts whenever possible…

One day, as my wife was backing the car into our parking slot, Khushi started voicing helpful directions asking her to come a little more, little more, little more, stop!  Here’s what happened next:

Papa: Khushi, you’ve become an excellent navigator.  Good job!

Khushi: That’s because I practice, Papa.  You should also do that!!!

Now, you know.

Ulta Pulta

One Thursday, Khushi had a holiday in school on account of their Annual Day celebrations, and ended up waking up early anyway.  Here’s what I overheard during a telephonic conversation between Khushi and her grandma, that morning…

Khushi: Grandma, you know it’s all “ulta pulta” (topsy turvy)?

Khushi: When it’s a school day, and I’m supposed to wake up early, I wake up late.

Khushi: And, when it’s a holiday, and I don’t have to get up early, I get up early!

How do you deal with that?!

It’s been a while since I wrote about li’l Kabir.

When my book on parenting was first published, all my near and dear ones insisted that “I should do another one for Kabir too!”  And, my reaction was : “It’s not the writing that’s tough, it’s the ‘getting published’ part!”  But, the fact remains that writing about your second child is harder than it seems.

The reasons behind it are many.  For one, it’s so much easier for me, as an adult, to identify with my almost-six-year-old who has impeccable communication skills and a much-advanced intellectual development (naturally!) than my two-year-old who has just started on that road.  There’s also the fact that every thing was so new and interesting when it first happened… I end up wondering whether or not readers of this blog will enjoy reading similar experiences written about another child, the second time around?

Be that as it may, Kabir is a unique individual who faces the world in his own distinctive way.  So, starting today, I’m going to make an effort to blog about him, as often as I can…

Over the past few months, Kabir has gone from “pointing to something and grunting for it” to “trying to name the object in broken speech” to “constructing complex sentences that are almost gramatically sound”.  Sure, he still has difficulties with some of the sounds that all kids his age would.  But he’s getting better at it, and fast!  Not to mention, he’s equally fluent in English and Hindi.

By nature, Kabir is one of the naughtiest and most adorable babies I have ever encountered.  Full of beans, he doesn’t tire of energy till the time he retires for the night.  He can never get enough of his mama.  And, he can never have enough of repeating what his “Khushi didi” says or does, which drives her nuts and provides wholesome entertainment for the rest of us.

Kabir is an outdoor baby.  He’s always ready for what he excitedly refers to as “drive-drive”, and enjoys watching the world go by his window, like a happy puppy in the car.  He really makes the most of his trips to the garden, and wants to accompany any member of the house, every time any one is going down!

Earlier today, he participated in his playschool’s Annual Sports Day, where he was among the youngest participants of them all.  His batch – the Yellow group – participated in two races: Obstacle Race and Socks Matching Race.  True to his nature, he gave it his all and had a lot of fun along the way.  By the end of it, he’d come first in one race and second in the other! 

Too young to even understand the concept of “winning a race”, he was happy to be handed shiny packed gifts, every once in a while, by the organizers.  As a parent, I was, naturally, happy to see that my child had won.  But more than the victory in the race, I’m even prouder of the way my li’l champ has turned out…

A series of links led me to an excellent writeup on Komando.com listing the 10 Commandments for Kids Online.  Here are just a few…

I will not try to win free things or buy things on the Internet without my parents’ permission. If I get a message that I won something, I will show it to my parents. If I get an e-mail asking for passwords or other secret stuff, I will ask my parents.

I will never tell anyone online or post online that I am home alone. I won’t give out my last name, my home address or telephone number, the name of my school or teachers, where my parents work or their telephone numbers without getting my parents’ permission. I will never give out my friends’ screen names, e-mail addresses, names, addresses and telephone numbers, and I will remind them to keep mine a secret.

I WILL NEVER, EVER MEET WITH ANYONE I’VE TALKED TO ONLINE WITHOUT FIRST TALKING WITH MY PARENTS.

This is just an excerpt, of course.  And, depending on the age of your child, you may or may not subscribe to some of these.  But it’s a great concept, and one that deserves implementation on some level.

It also got me thinking about other things you can do as a parent, to keep your loved ones safe.

Here’s a link to another excellent writeup from Komando on Limiting your children’s Screen Time.  It features many useful tips on parenting controls and how to use available Technology to make your job a bit easier.

And, here’s a link to OpenDNS – a (free) service that helps you keep your online environment safe through phishing protection and other forms of security, without the hassle of complicated software installation and configuration.

Safe surfing…