As readers of this blog would know, the Bachwani family tries to hit the shores of Goa at least once a year, sometimes twice a year!  It had been a while since our last trip, and so it was time to schedule another one.  Early in 2010, we decided to book us a 3-night stay slated for mid Feb.  And, as predictable as the Old Faithful in Yellowstone, a few days before departure, ill health struck… 

Khushi came down with a very bad bout of viral fever and cough.  A quick trip to the pediatrician confirmed that the bug was in the air and would  take 7-10 days to fully get out of the system.  She advised us to carry on with our holiday plans, since there was not much to do besides take the required medicines regularly.

So, off we went to our annual visit, fully prepared with a large kit of medicines for any eventuality.  What we did not plan for, however, was that Kabir would soon catch it from his sister.

The kids would alternate between having high fever (sometimes reaching 102!)  and no fever in the day.  There would be times when either one of them was “down”, and also times when both were sick or both completely normal.  The nights would keep both parents awake with both the kids coughing and choking incessantly. 

Of course, during the day, in bits and parts, it would feel like a completely typical holiday when we would head to a nearby Goan restaurant for some yummy food!  We even shot some videos on the digital camera on which you’ll see no trace of any thing unusual, just a family on a holiday having fun!!!

It was a very weird experience in a funny and tragic sort of way… Kind of like suddenly having your energizer batteries pulled out and pushed in, throughout the 4-day stay.  By the time we returned, both the kids were on their way to recovery, but the wife and I were fully “out”.  Guess, attending to all the ill health and not getting any sleep ourselves didn’t really help our immunity.  It took both of us nearly two weeks to recover from that.

But, we made it.  And, we would surely return to Goaaaah soon!

Boys will be boys, so the saying goes.

Even though he’s very well-mannered and generous, Kabir has always behaved in a manner that is distinctly different from Khushi’s, and more or less typical of “boys”.  There’s a lot more energy and excitement with the simplest of activities.  There’s a lot more need to keep him busy and entertained.  Even when he plays with “Khushi didi’s” toys, he plays with them differently. 

It’s not just the fact that having two kids is ten times more work than having one child!  It’s also the fact that our second one is a boy!  So, it was only a matter of time before his boundless energy was going to be the cause of an injury.  And, that day came last week.

I was at home playing with Kabir, while Sonali and Khushi were out on some errands.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, he decided to jump off the edge off our bed… 

His face hit the edge of the dressing table near his lip and left a big gash.

The next half hour or so went by in a flash.  He burst into tears. I rushed him to the washroom and put some ice on his wound.  Till the bleeding stopped, I couldn’t really tell if it was just the outside of his face or he’d even lost some teeth.  After a few minutes, it became clear that it was his lip. 

The gash was about half an inch, and deep.  It was bleeding for a good 20 minutes or so.  I keep on putting ice and tried to keep him distracted with a new toy, but I knew that the wound would hurt, and so would the ice.  I’m not very good at the sight of blood, but there was no one else around. 

Eventually, the bleeding stopped.  Sonali and Khushi returned home.  We assessed the wound and decided that it would need not stitches.  Some ultra-fast, ultra-effective homeopathic doses later, the open wound began to close up.

We both heaved a small sigh of relief, knowing fully well that this was just the first of many more exciting episodes in the years to come…

An interesting post from MetroDad sparks off a series of thoughts.  In it, MD quotes a passage from one of the books presently helping him with his insomnia… 

“I have a thing for Dickens. I’m reading his letters at the moment. There are 12 volumes of them, and each one is several hundred pages long. If he’d only written letters, he’d have had a pretty productive life, but he didn’t only write letters. There are four volumes of his journalism. He edited a couple of magazines. He squeezed in an unconventional love life, and a few rewarding friendships. Am I forgetting anything? Oh, yeah: a dozen of the greatest novels in the English language. He’s pretty much the one guy whose life you could look at and think, man, he didn’t mess around.

But there aren’t many people like old Charles. Most humans don’t get to do work that’s going to last. They sell shower curtain rings, like the John Candy character in that movie. (I mean the rings might last. But they’re probably not what people talk about after you’ve gone.) So it’s not about what you do. It can’t be, can it? It has to be about how you are, how you love, how you treat yourself and those around you, and that’s where I get eaten up.”

He goes on to write about how a certain amount of introspection and fantasizing can actually be a good thing…

All I’m saying is that, regardless of one’s station in life, I think it’s healthy to sometimes visualize or fantasize about the life that you want to live. Frequently, this forces you to make extremely tough decisions that seem painful but may ultimately make you much happier.

And then, ends by asking some pretty tough questions…

In all seriousness, do any other parents out there fantasize about how your life would be different without kids or a spouse? If you’re single or childless, are you living your life how you’d imagined? Why or why not?

Sure, we all have fantasies about living a different Life… whether or not we have kids!  So often, we hear well-meaning grown-ups advise younger friends on how they should make the most of the time they have, especially while they are still young, single or childless.  But MD’s questions made me think long and hard about this.

As parents of two adorable little ones, me and the mrs. often talk about our love for Travel, and how we need to make the time for it.  In fact, we have just started a new saving fund for our shared passion, now that the kids have reached a more manageable age. 

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that it’s not a matter of cramming every thing in your life, while you’re still young, single and childless.  For one, that phase won’t last the rest of your life.  Besides, your life-circumstances can change quite rapidly, irrespective of how much you planned to achieve in your younger years.

Every day matters.  And it’s up to every one of us to make the most of each moment! 

And, if that doesn’t work, there’s always the Batman costume or the Porsche, right?!

A forwarded email came with a presentation on the “Price of Children“.  The purpose of that communication was to show how, even though bringing up children costs a significant sum, the benefits far outweigh the costs involved. 

Be that as it may, it also served as a great reminder of the joy that only children can bring to our lives.  Here’s a brief extract:

As a parent, you get …

• Naming rights : First, middle and last!
• Glimpses of God every day, and giggles under the cover, each night
• More love than your heart can hold
• Endless wonder… over rocks, ants, clouds and cookies
• A partner for blowing bubbles… and flying kites
• Someone to laugh with… no matter what the boss said, or how the stocks performed
• To finger-paint, play hide-n-seek, catch fireflies
• Keep reading… and reading… the Adventures of piglet and Pooh
• Go to Disney movies… and wish on stars
• Handmade greeting cards with backward letters!
• To be a hero just for removing a splinter, or filling a wading pool
• A front row seat to witness the first step, word, bra, date, drive!
• Another branch added to your family tree… immortality!

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God… You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits – so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Isn’t it all worth it, just for one of these benefits ?!

Potholes in the Sky is another dad-blog I regularly read.  And, the recent post from Amit on “Swine Flu in Pune” captures a parent’s point of view on India’s growing concern to contain the spread of the H1N1 pandemic :

Pune has the highest number of postive cases in the country. Till very recently, only Naidu Hospital was authorized to conduct tests, then Aundh Chest Hospital was added to the list. Now 15 more locations have been authorized to collect samples. It took one death (the only one in the country) to wake up the administration.

However, from what is being said, the administration is still not conducting tests unless a link to the infected people is established. Sad. When my daughter was suffering from high fever, body ache, cold and sore throat, we called up Naidu Hospital to ask if we should take her there. They didn’t feel it necessary to conduct any tests on her, even though 15+ students of her school had already been detected as positive cases. The poor girl who lost her life, too, was apparently not in contact with any of the infected people. We never learn…

I cannot offer much help to Amit or any one in his predicament, as the situation is not very different in any other major city of India.  The government, for no conceivable reason, has decided to permit only a handful of government-run hospitals to run diagnostic testing and quarantine facilities, with a few more designated as pre-screening centres, while bulk of the private clinics and hospitals are left powerless.  And, officials from the Ministry of Health, and other politicians of repute, are all over the new channels reassuring the public that there is no need to panic, as the reported incidents in India are far below those in US or UK.

In the meanwhile, parents have begun coping with it, as best as they can.  Some are not permitting their children to attend birthday parties or visit crowded theatres and malls, others are skipping a visit to the clinic or hospital for something mild, and still others are resorting to panic-buying of masks to keep the infection at bay. 

A colleague remarked, earlier today, that he asked his domestic help to stay at home for a couple of weeks, since she showed signs of most of the symptoms being reported in the media!  You have to be an Indian to realize the significance of that statement, considering how indispensable domestic help is to any household!!!

Is this sentiment justified or is it paranoia?  As a father of two, I would also be distressed if it were happening in my neighbourhood.  But for most of us in this country of more than a billion, it is merely a “news item” to talk about… Until, that is, the H1N1 symptoms start to appear in our near and dear ones!

As my good friend Amit said, we never learn…