A good friend recently introduced me to a fantastic site “on being child-free“.  Frankly, up until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t even heard of the phrase!  I’m a parent of two adorable children, and have a number of friends who aren’t married, and don’t have kids yet.  But, I’ve never thought of them as having consciously opted to be ‘child-free’… I always figured, it was a matter of “when”, not “if”!

So, it was with much interest and enthusiasm that I devoured whatever I could read on the subject.  This would be an opportunity for me to learn something from an entirely new perspective – not an easy thing to come by, these days. 

I read the Top 100 reasons not to have Kids, and went through the Best FAQ page on being Childfree, and understood what it means to say Yes to ChildFreedom.  And, once I did all that, I was able to really appreciate the arguments of the other side.

I fully agree with my friend – Joy – on the fact that people will spend hours, days, even months researching before buying an expensive gadget, but won’t stop to think before bringing another human to this planet!  More people need to think about what it means to have children, consciously, before it “happens” to them.  And, making an informed decision is a great start indeed. 

But, there is also an argument against making rational arguments.  Behavioural studies show that, in most situations, we humans have already decided which course we want to pursue in a matter of seconds (or milliseconds).  We then go about finding enough data (pros and cons) to basically support our choices.  (We both know that you can find enough data to support pretty much any argument, don’t we?!)

I’m not saying every one should be a parent.  Frankly, I think they ought to issue valid licenses for parents!  And, I do agree that every couple (every individual?) should be able to choose their own path, irrespective of what society thinks is the acceptable norm. 

But, the experience of being a parent is unlike any other.  

There’s something magical about being a parent to a child that can make you appreciate Life in all it has to offer…  It’s one of the rare things in life where the sum of its parts is not as much as its whole.  Therefore, any list of Top 100 reasons or the likes will not even come close to experiencing the sheer joy of holding a newborn in your hand. 

The choice should be your’s.  And, it should be an informed one.  Remember though, after all is said and done, the heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of… John Dryden.

Recommended reading: Happily Childfree